Save Me From My Self Annihilation
by Julifer Wynter
Summary: After witnessing his father rape and murder his mother,Matt begins to cut himself to help him deal with the pain of his loss. After time,he becomes suicidal. With the help of Mello,can he stop his suicidal ways? MelloxMatt.
1. The begining

**[A.N]**

**Hello there and thank you for clicking on this story!**

**This is the first chapter and it's a bit short,but I plan on making the rest of the chapters at least twice as long as this.**

**I hope you enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Mail Jeevas.**

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><p>Hey. I'm Matt, a.k.a Mail Jeevas,and this is my story.<p>

~ 5 years ago ~

It was the middle of the night when there was a knock at the door. The knock wakes me up. I get out of my bed and walk into the hall way.

"It's okay Mail sweety,i'll see who it is. Go back to bed." My mom said to me as she walked out of her bedroom and into the hall.

I go back into my room and lay back down into bed. I pulled the blanket back over me and lied my head on my pillow. I lied my head back onto the pillow and closed my eyes,only for them to snap open a moment later as I hear something break down stairs. I grabbed my orange goggles off of my nightstand and ran down the hall way. I peeked downstairs from at the top of the stairs,staying hidden from whoever was down stairs.

"Hey,come on babe,it's just me." A man said to my mom.

"G-get out!" My mom yelled at the man,stuttering a bit.

"I have full right to be here,after all,I am your _husband_." The man says.

My eyes widen. My mom had told me that she ran away from my father because he would beat her. She took me with her so she could protect me too. The fact that he had found us,wasn't good.

"You ran away,you even took that little brat of ours with you. Now,i'm here to take back what's mine." He says.

"Don't you _dare _touch Mail." My mom says.

"Who said that I was talking about just him? I'm here for everything that's mine,including _you _." He says with a smirk.

"W-what do you mean?" She asks.

"You know damn well what I mean. I just want to do what we use to do in the good ol' days." He says.

My mom's eyes widen.

"What do you say we start now?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Let go of me." My mom says as she tries to get out of his grasp,but sadly he keeps his hold on her.

"Oh,I won't be doing that any time soon. I just finally found you after 11 years. We're going to have lots of fun tonight." He says as he slides his hand up her top.

She slaps his hands that are going up her top. He moves his hand away from her top and slaps her across the face.

"You fucking bitch! I own you and I will do whatever I want to do to you!" He yells.

She grabs the part of her face that was slapped and silently cries.

"If you cry,I will just have to punish you more. Maybe i'll do something to the child." He says with a smirk on his face.

"N-no,don't hurt him. You can do whatever you want to me,just don't hurt him." She say as she makes herself stop crying.

"Good. That's what I thought." He says as he grabs on to the bottom of her shirt and pulls it up over her head. She stays quiet and her face looks as calm as she can make it,but you can see the fear in her eyes.

I just stand there at the top of the stairs,too scared to move.

He pulls my mother's pants down and tosses them to the side. He pickes her up and sits her on the couch. He removes his own shirt and pants and tosses them to the side. He kisses her roughly as he makes her lay down on the couch. He slips her panties down as well as his boxers.

I stand at the top of the stairs,terrified as I watch the monster who is my father rape my mother.

He finishes after a half hour. That way by far the longest half hour of my entire life.

"Now that i've had my fun with you, I should go have some fun with the boy." He says.

"H-he's not here,he's spending the night at a friend's house tonight." My mom lied,trying to protect me.

"Are you sure? You always stuttered when you were lying." He says.

"I-I'm sure." She says,stuttering again.

"Your lying,and we both know it." He says.

"I-I'm not lying." She says,stuttering yet again.

"That's bull shit,and you're going to have to be punished you lying." He says as he brings his hands up to her neck.

He strangles her. No matter how much she fought,he didn't stop. She couldn't escape his grasp. A few minutes later,her eyes close and her body was no longer moving.

_That's the moment my mother's life was took from her._

He gets up from the couch. I quickly run into my room. I open my closet and run inside. I close it quietly,not wanting to be found.

_I couldn't let my mother die for nothing._

I herd him travel up the stairs. I herd him walk into my room. I stayed quiet inside of the closet,praying that he wouldn't find me. I herd him leave my room after a few minutes. I ended up staying inside of the closet the entire night,crying quietly the entire time. After being in there for hours,I finally got out. I walked down the stairs,and saw the man who raped and murdered my mother,lying on the floor with cocaine and empty beer cans lying next to him. He was either dead or passed out,I wasn't sure. I slowly walked over to the phone and dialed 911.

"Hello,this is 911,what's your emergency?" Asked the 911 operator.

"I need the police and an ambulance. Please hurry." I say and hung up the phone. They can track where the call was coming from,so I didn't see any reason to waist more time telling them where I lived. Not to mention the operator would have asked me what had happened,and I already knew I would have to tell the police what happened,and i'd like to have to relive the whole thing as few amount of times as possibal.

15 minutes later the police and ambulance came. They arrested the man for drug possession and the rape and murder of my mother. A few days later I was taken to the Wammy orphanage.

_And at the orphanage is when my story truly begins._

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><p><strong>So what do you think of the story so far?<strong>

**Please reveiw telling me what you think! :)**

**The next chapter should be out anywhere between a few days to a week.**

**-JuliferWynter**


	2. Meeting Mello

**Special thanks to brightnight003,Dooseob and Yokai Ookami for favoriting/reveiwing/alerting. :D**

**Here's chapter Two [which is twice as long as the first chapter] .**

**Enjoy!**

**Okay,i'll shut up now so you can just read the story now XD**

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><p>~ Six months after being at Wammy's ~<p>

I slowly take the razor blade to my wrist,the blood spilling on to my light blue jeans and black and white stripped shirt.

This is the first time i've cut my wrist,but not the first time i've cut my self. I've been doing on my legs so no one whould see it. But right now,I don't care anymore,I just want to die. Think about it,what's the point of living any more? I lost my mom,almost all the kids at Wammy's either tease me or beat me up,so what about that is worth being around to 'enjoy'?

I hear a knock at my door.

"Go away!" I say loudly as I stand up from the corner of the room,bumbing into the nightstand which caused the alarm clock fall to the floor.

"Matt? Are you okay?" The man asks.

"Yes, just go away!" I yell.

The door knob slowly turns,and a black haired man with panda eyes who is wearing just a simple long sleeved white shirt and blue jeans walks in.

His eyes go wide as he sees the blood.

"What the hell happened?" He asks a bit loudly from shock.

He looks over to the corner and sees the bloody razor blade.

"You cut yourself?" He asks,a bit surprized.

"Just go away." I say as I sit on the bed.

"I'm not going to go away. Not while your like this." He says as he slowly walks over to me.

"Let me see your wrist. We need to get something on it b-"

"Before I die from blood loss? That's what i'm trying to do,dumbass." I say,cutting him off.

He sighs and simpally stands there for a moment. Then,he grabs my wrist [the one that isn't bleeding] and drags me into the bathroom. **[A.N All of the bedrooms have their own bathroom atached to them.]**

He locks the door,but still keeps holding onto my wrist. He walks over to the tolit paper and quickly un-wraps a large amount of it. He wraps the tolit paper around my bleeding wrist.

"Why?" I mumble.

"Why what?" He asks.

"Why woun't you just let me die?" I ask loudly.

His eyes widen for a moment,only for them to go back to normal a moment later.

"Why would you want to die in the first place?" He asks softly.

"Because my life simpally isn't worth living." I say a bit quietly.

He gives me a sad look,then un-wraps the tolit paper from around my wrist. He turns the water on in the sink.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks as he puts my cut wrist under the water.

"Not really..." I mumble.

"Okay,you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He says.

It is quiet for a moment. A really fucking awkward quiet.

"So...What's your name?" I ask,trying to break the silence.

"My name is L." He says.

"As in 'the L' ,the whole damn reason this stupid hell hole was built?" I ask.

"I suppose I am,but I don't like the way you put that..." He says as he pumps the soap from the soap bottle and washes my wrist with it.

"Oh boy,i'm in the presence of L! How exciting." I say sarcasticly.

He glares at me for a second,then stops and rinses all the soap off or my wrist. He turns the water off and dries my wrist with a towel.

"Matt,i'm going to need you to come with me." He says.

I sigh

"Fine." I say.

L walks out of the bathroom,into my room and out the door of my room. I follow him since I know that i'll be going what ever he's taking me to whether I like it or not.

He stops at a room just a few doors away from my room. He knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" Yells someone from inside of the room.

"If I told you,I highly doubt you'd actually believe me." L says.

I hear a rather loud sigh. A moment later the door opens.

"Hm,you don't look fimilar..." The blonde says as he looks at L.

"Hello there. I am L. I need to ask you for a favor." L says to the blonde.

The blonde's eyes go wide.

"Y-you're L?" He asks.

"Yes." L says.

The blonde stands there shocked.

"May I come in?" L asks.

"Yea,sure." The blonde says as he opens the door wider and walks into the room.

"Thanks you." L says as he walks into the room.

L looks back at me.

"Well? Are you coming in?" L asks me.

"Oh,um I guess." I say quietly as I walk into the room.

I close the door behind me.

"So,why are you here,L? Shouldn't you be in japan solving the Kira investigation?" The blonde asks.

"Yes,but Watari told me that there was someone here who was having a bit of a hard time,so I came here to help him." L anwsers.

"Well i'm not having a hard time or anything..." The blonde says.

"Yes,Mello. You're not the one who is having a hard time,but I do hope you can help him." L says.

"You want me to help someone who's having a 'hard time'?" The blonde who L called "Mello" asks.

"Yes,that is correct,that is if you don't mind." L says.

"Sure L ,just one question." Mello says.

"Okay,what is it?" L asks.

"Why do you want me to help? I mean there are tons of other kids here,but you decided to choose me,the short tempered blonde. Why?" Mello asks L.

"Well,I suppose it's because I think that you can relate what he's going though." L says.

Mello sighs.

"Okay,so who is the guy I'm going to be 'helping' ?" Mello asks.

"You will be helping Matt. Matt,this is Mello. Mello,this is Matt." L says as he moves to the side so Mello can get a full veiw of me.

"Um,hi." I say a bit quietly.

Something that most people would never guess about me is that I am actually a bit shy.

"Hey." Mello says to me.

"Oh,also you two will both be sharing a room." L says.

"What? Okay,I'm fine with helping,but I have to share my room too?" Mello asks rather loudly.

"I don't take up much space and i'm rather quiet." I say.

"Please Mello?" L asks.

"Beisdes,some rooms have three kids in them and we need the space in Matt's room for other kids." L mumbles.

"What was that?" Mello asks.

"Nothing." L says.

Mello sighs.

"Fine,i'll share my room with him." Mello says.

"Thank you very much,Mello. Now I need to be back in Japan,so I will be going now." L says as he walks over to the door.

"Thank you again,Mello. I won't forget this." L says and he leaves the room.

"Um..." I say,not really knowing what to say.

"You can go get your stuff and bring it in here." Mello says as he flops down onto one of the beds in the room.

"Um,yea,okay." I say as I leave the room.

I walk back into my room,or what was my room.I grab my DSi,DSi games,and someof my clothes. I walk out of what was my room and into Mello/My room.

"Where can I put my clothes?" I ask.

"Hm?" He says as he takes his ear buds out of his ears.

"I asked where can I put my clothes." I say,repeating what I had just said.

"Oh,I'll clear some space in the closet." Mello says as he gets up from his bed.

He walks over to the closet. He pushes all of his tops over to one side of the closet.

"Hold on for a moment." Mello says as he walks over to his desk.

He open one of the drawers and pulls out a roll of duck tape. He walks back over to the closet and un-rolls a piece of ducktape. He puts it over the shelve above the bar where you hang up shirts. He puts the tape on the shelve and unrolls it more,sticking the tape from the top of the closet all the way down the the bottom.

"My side-" He pauses for a moment as he points to the side of the closet where he pushed all of his clothes/shoes.

"-your side." He says as he points to the other side of the tape line where there is nothing.

"Okay,thanks." I say as I start hanging up my shirts.

"Whatever." Mello says as he walks back over to his desk and puts the ducktape back into the drawer.

I hang up the shirts I have with me and put away the pants that I have with me in the drawers.

"Where can I put these?" I ask mello as I hold up my DSI and DSI games.

"Um,You can put them on your nightstand." Mello says as he looks up from his Ipod.

"It's over there,by the way." He says as he points to the bed on the other side of the room.

I walk over to it and open the drawer in the nightstand. I sit my DSI and DSI games in it and close the drawer.

"Hey,can I ask you a question?" Mello asks me.

"Sure. What is it?" I ask.

"Why do you have blood on your clothes?" Mello asks.

I look down at my shirt and pants,seeing that there is the blood stains from earlier.

_"God fucking damn it!" _I think to myself.

"It's just red paint." I lie.

_"Oh come on,why couldn't I have though of a better lie?" _I think to myself.

"That doesn't look like red paint..." Mello says.

"Well it is." I say with a bit of anger in my voice.

"Okay,okay. Jeez you don't have to get angry about it." Mello says.

"I'm going to go get the rest of my stuff..." I say,changing the subject.

"You do that." Mello says,putting one of his ear buds back into his ear.

I walk out of the room and back to what was my room. I unplug my Wii and pick it up. I put it back in it's box along with the 2 Will remotes. I grab my Wii games and sit them on top of the Wii box. I walk over to my night stand and grab my ipod off of it. I open my nightstand drawer and grab my DSI charger. I walk back over to my Wii box and pick it up,including the games that are on top of it. I walk back into Mello/My room.

"Jeez,how many electronic systems do you have?" Mello asks as I walk over to my bed and sit all of the things on the bed.

"Just a Will,a DSI,a cell phone,a ipod and a laptop." I anwser.

"Wow...that's alot..." Mello says.

"Ha,you should have sen how many I use to have. I only brought my favorite electronics here,I still had a few more gaming systems back at home..." I say.

"Seroiusly?" He asks.

"Yep." I say as I walk back to the door and leave the room.

I walk back into what was my room and grab my laptop,the few books I have,a few pads of paper and some pencils. I walk over to where the bloddy razor is and I pick it up. I put it into my pocket and back into Mello's/my room. I sit everything I'm holding onto my bed.

"So when L said that you were having a 'hard time' ,what did he mean by that?" Mello asks.

"I'm not sure... I guess it's 'cause i'm sad or something..." I lie,not being able to think of anything better to say.

"Hm...Okay,I guess. We sould probably get some sleep..." Mello says.

"Really? Why?" I ask as I grab my Wii box and sit it over by the T.V.

"Well,it's 11:27 [pm],and tomorrow we have to wake up at 7:00 [am] for some stupid test." Mello says.

"Oh,okay." I say as I put everything that's on my nightstand into my night stand drawer. I sit my laptop on my night stand. I take everything else that's on my bed and pt it under the bed.

I'll put it all away tomorrow,after all,I don't want to keep Mello up late. It would be nice if he didn't hate my guts.

"You can turn the lights off know,if you're ready to go to sleep." I say as I get underneath the blanket on my bed. I take my razor blade and hide it behind my pillow.

Yea,it's not the best hiding place for something,but i'll find a better place to put it once Mello is asleep.

"Okay." Mello says as he gets up from his bed and turns the light out.

"Good night." Mello says as he gets back to his bed and lays underneath his blanket.

"Night." I say as I take my googles off and sit them on my nightstand.

I wait for about 30 minutes until I'm sure that Mello is asleep.

I get out of bed and lift the mattress up. I sit my razor underneath it,then I sit the mattress back down. I lay back down in bed and pull the blanket over me. I lay my head down on the pillow and close my eyes,know knowing that I can sleep without Mello seeing my blood stained razor blade.

~ Mello's p.o.v ~

I wake up in the middle of the night,not being able to sleep because I'm cold. I open my eyes,only too see that my blanket had fallen on the floor.

_"Hm,I don't usually move all that much in my sleep,so how did the blanket fall on the floor?" _I ask myself.

I get out of bed and pick up the blanket. I spread the blanket out on the bed. I look over at Matt and see that he's about to fall out of bed.

_"Well,if he falls out of bed,his head is going to smash straight into the nightstand,which will probably give his a cucushin and break his laptop. Seeing as how much he loves his electronics,he'd be whining about it for days and I would be stuck listening to him whine...I think i'll move him so he doesn't fall..." _I think in my head.

I walk over to Matt's bed. I grab both of his arms and move his upper half farther on to the bed. I notice a large cut on one of his wrists.

_"He cuts himself?" _

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><p><strong>Mello now knows that Matt cuts himself. :o<strong>

**Dun dun dun!**

**Also,Matt grabbed a ton of other things from his room [tooth brush,cell phone ect.] ,it just didn't really seem like it was all that important to write.**

**Chapter three will be out soon! :)**

**-JuliferWynter**


	3. Awkward as hell

**Hey everyone.**

**I Finally updated! I'm so sorry that it has been so long since my last update. I've been buzy with school,and on top of that,my internet hasn't been working at all. A technician came out today and fixed my internet,so now my internet is working again. (:**

**I am not sure how often I will update. I hope I can get a new chapter out maybe once a week,but i'm not sure. Updates may only be once every two weeks,but again,i'm not sure how often I will be able to update.**

**BrightNight003 - Thank you very much for your review. It means alot to me to know that someone enjoys the story so far. (: I'm not sure if I will write about the death of L/Matt/Mello , I havn't really thought all that far ahead yet. I might write about it if I feel that I need to,but I don't plan on it. I love Matty,Mello and L , so if I don't have to write about their deaths,I won't.**

**Now on to the chapter!**

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><p>~ Matt's p.o.v ~<p>

My eyes open as I wake up. I roll over onto my side and see Mello sitting on the edge on his bed stairing at the wall.

"Good morning Mello." I say as I sit up.

Mello doesn't say anything.

"Hey,did you here me?" I ask as I get out of bed.

He still doesn't say anything.

"Mello?" I ask as I walk over to him and sit a hand on his shoulder.

"Why did you lie to me?" Mello asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I move my hand off of his shoulder,a bit confused about what is going on at the moment.

"You lied to me. When I asked you why L told me you were having a 'hard time' ,you said that you didn't know. But you knew why..." Mello says as he takes his eyes off of the wall that he was stairing at and looks at me.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I ask.

_"Did he find out that I cut myself? Did he see me when I put my razor underneath my mattress?" _I think to myself.

"Don't play dumb with me. You know what i'm talking about." Mello says as he grabs my wrist and pushes up my sleeve.

"You cut yourself,and you didn't tell me." Mello says with a bit of anger in his voice.

I pull my wrist away from him.

"So? Why do you care?" I ask a bit defensively.

He looks almost a bit hurt by what I said. He opens his mouth to speak,but closes his mouth a moment later.

"Nevermind." He says.

"No,I want to here what you have to say. I'll listen to you're emotional speech about how I'm 'better then that' and about how I 'shouldn't do that to myself' and all that other crap." I say.

Mello clenches his fist and stands up.

"You asshole!" He yells as he punches me in the face.

"Stop being such a god damn self centered jerk!" Mello yells.

I grab the area of my face where Mello punched me.

"You don't know what i'm going though! You have no idea what it's like to watch your mother get raped and murdered! And on top of it all,I could have done something! I could have called the police or got the gun out of my mom's room,but instead I just stood there and watched the whole fucking thing because I was to scared to move! It's all _my _fault that she's dead!" I yell.

"You're right,I don't know what that's like! I don't know what it's like to have a mom who loves her child enough to give her life to save him! What I do know is that my mom was with boyfriend after boyfriend and always left me at the mall while she was off getting drunk and having sex! My mom would hit me and let her boyfriends rape me! So you're right,I don't know what it's like to actually be loved like you do!" Mello yells with tears running down his face.

Mello sits down on the edge of the bed and puts his face in his hands and cries. I don't know why,but I kinda feel bad for making him cry. I sit down next to him on the bed and wrap my arms around him.

"I'm sorry Mello. I didn't know. Please forgive me." I say softly.

Even though i've only known Mello for a few hours,he doesn't seem like the type of person who would cry.

"Yea,well maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions." Mello says coldly as he wipes his eyes.

"And stop hugging me." Mello says.

I stop hugging him and sit a little bit farther away from him on the bed.

"I was just trying to make you feel better..." I say.

"Well if you cared about making me upset you wouldn't have yelled at me in the first place." Mello mumbles.

"I didn't know it would make you that upset!" I say.

"You should have realized that it would!" Mello says.

"Well how was I suppose to know?" I ask.

"You- ... um ... I don't know..." Mello says quietly.

"If you don't know then how can you be mad at me?" I ask.

"I just can be,okay?" Mello says loudly.

"Okay,okay,no need to get angry." I say.

"You know... I don't see why L thought I could help you." Mello say quietly,as if he was talking to himself.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well ... I see why he told me to help you , I mean I understand his reason for it ... But i'm not sure why he thought I could do anything... " Mello says in a mumble.

" What do you mean by that? That doesnt even make any sense" I say.

"Nevermind... We sould probably go eat some breakfast before the test. Oh,and you might want to change yout clothes before you go." Mello says as walks over to the closet and grabs some clothes for himself.

I look down at the clothes that i'm wearing.

_"Oh right,blood stains..." _I think to myself.

I hear the bathroom door close ,which was probably Mello going in there to change his clothes.

I walk over to the closet. I grab a gray and black striped shirt,dark blue skinny jeans and black coverse. I walk over to my nightstand and grab my orange googles. I put my goggles over my eyes,making everything look slightly discolored since the goggels are orange tinted. I walk over to the bathroom door and knock on it.

"What do you need?" Mello asks from the other side of the door.

"Are you amost done in there? I need to change my clothes." I say.

"I'll be out in a minute." Mello says.

"Okay." I say.

A little while later mello walks out wearing a black tee shirt,black skinny jeans with a small rip in the left knee.

I walk into the bathroom and close the door,forgeting to lock it. I sit the clothes I'm holding on the edge of the sink. I take my shirt and pants off,leaving me in my goggles,pokémon boxers and socks.

"Hey Matt,did I leave my-" Mello walks right into the bathroom without knocking.

Me,being the idiot that I am,forgot to lock the door.

"Jeez,would it kill you to put on some damn pants?" Mello says as he turns around so his back is facing me.

"I was changing! You could have knocked!" I say as I quickly grab the pants that are sitting on the edge of the sink and put them on,slightly blushing from being embarresed.

"I thought that the door would have been locked if you were changing!" Mello says rather loudly.

"Well I forgot to lock it!" I say as I pull my gray and black striped shirt over my head.

"And you can turn around now,I'm wearing clothes." I say.

Mello turns around.

"I was just going to ask if I left my socks in here,which I did." Mello says as he grabs his black socks from the side of the sink.

Mello walks out of the bathroom,closing the door behind him.

_"Well that was awkward as hell." _I think to myself.

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><p>~ Mello's p.o.v ~<p>

I walk out of the bathroom after changing my clothes. Matt walks past me and into the bathroom,closing the door behind him.

_"Damn it,Where the hell are my socks?" _I think to myself.

_"I probably left them in the bathroom." _

I walk over to the bathroom door and open it.

"Hey Matt,did I leave my-" I stop mid sentance as I see an almost naked Matt.

I feel my cheeks heat up,so I turn sround so my back is facing Matt,hoping that it will hide my blush.

_"Damn... He's pretty sexy..." _I think to myself.

"Jeez,would you put on some damn pants?" I say.

"I was changing! You could have knocked!" He says.

True... Very true.

"I thought that the door would have been locked if you were changing!"

Actually,I entirely forgot to knock. I'm the smartest,well,technically the second smartest person in Wammys,yet I'm not smart enough to remember to knock... Yea,I'm real fucking intelligent.

"Well I forgot to lock it!" He says.

I forgot to lock the door when I was changing,too. Luckily he was smart enough to knock, 'cause when he knocked on the door I was naked. If he walked in then,that would have been even more awkward then this.

"And you can turn around now,i'm wearing clothes." He says.

I turn around.

"I was just going to ask if I left my socks in here,which I did." I say as I grab my black socks off of the side of the sink.

I walk out of the bathroom,closing the door behind me.

Well that was awkward as hell.


	4. The chocolate doughnut

**Hey everyone,no,I'm not dead. [Yay,I'm not dead.]**

**I'm so so so so soooooo sorry for taking so long to update. And on top of that,this chapter isn't even all that intertaining. [Or at least it isn't in my opinion.]**

**Anyways,I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)**

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><p>- Two weeks later -<p>

~ Mello's p.o.v ~

I rub my sleepy eyes as I wake up for the 14th time this night.

I keep having nightmares of when I was younger... Needless to say,those time wern't happy. At all.

I look over at the clock to see what time it is. Hopfully it is late enough for me to wake up.

6:38 am.

I guess it's not too early to get up.

I pull the blanket off of me. I stand up and walk over to the bathroom,taking my sweet time to get there. Once I'm in the bathroom,I close and lock the bathroom door.

The last thing I need is for Matt to walk in on me taking a shower. Thing were awkward between us for three days after the whole 'I-walked-in-on-him-changing' thing. I can't even begin to imagine how thing would be between us if he walked in on me in the shower. Even thought there would be the sound of water running,he probably wouldn't notice. Matt never realized a singal thing that goes on around him. Hell,there could be a god damn earthquake going on and he would just sit right though it playing on his Gameboy.

I turn the shower water on. While I wait for the water to warm up,I strip down. I feel the water with my hand.

Still a bit cold.

_"Damn,how long does it take for you to warm up,stupid water!" _I think to myself.

I grab a few towels off of the shelve and sit them on the edge of the sink. I feel the water again.

Nice and warm.

I get in the shower,letting the water soak every inch of my body. I look down at my arms,staring at the scars from past cuts. I grab the bar of soap and scrub my arms until I almost bleed.

I wish I could just wash the scars away ... It is something that I am very ashamed of ...

I take a deep breath and sit the bar of soap back on the small spot where it was sitting. I grab my bottle of shampoo and open it. I squeze it,the shampoo landing into the palm of my hand. I sit the shampoo back where it was,not bothering to close it. I bring my hand up to my head and rub the shampoo into my hair. I take in the dark chocolate and cherry scent that my shampoo gives.

Yea,I know. Not a very common scent that a guy would choose for his shampoo. But ya know what? I don't give a fuck.

~ Matt's p.o.v ~

I wake up to the sound of water running. I open my eyes and see that Mello isn't in his bed.

_"He's probably taking a shower." _I think to myself.

I sit up and feel something fall on my legs. I look at the 'Game Over' sign that is on the screen of it. I take my Gameboy off of my lap.

Great,I fell asleep playing on my Gameboy.

I click a few buttons and get back to the menu screen.

'File 1 - 82% complete'

Last night,that file was only 77% complete...

Wonderful,I was gaming in my sleep ... again.

I turn my gameboy off and sit it on my nightstand.

I hear the sound of the shower running,along with the faint sound of Mello singing.

If i'm not mistaken,I think he's singing "Born this way" by Lady Gaga... Yea. Pretty damn weird.

I hear the shower water turn off. A few moments later,Mello walks out of the bathroom,rubbing his wet hair with a towel while still wearing the same clothes he was wearing last night.

_"What good does it do to take a shower if you're just going to put the same clothes that you were wearing back on?" _ I think to myself.

"Hey Mello,I didn't know you were a Lady Gaga fan." I say,refering to his singing in the shower.

Mello looks at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mello asks.

"The singing in the shower." I say.

"Oh...I herd the song on the radio,and it was stuck in my head,and I started singing it..." Mello says a bit quietly,as if embarrassed the I had herd him,which is a bit out of character for Mello.

"And if you tell anyone about this,I swear i'll kill you." Mello says while havng a very seirous look on his face.

Ah,there we go,that's more like Mello.

"Okay,okay." I say as I hold my hands infront of me in a 'I surrender' position.

"So...What time is it?" I ask,trying to make conversation as I get out of my bed.

"7:04." Mello replies.

"...In the morning?" I ask.

"Yep ... It's not like you to wake up early." Mello says.

_"Hm... That's really ... Strange." _

"Hey,at least you'll get to get to pick from all the breakfast items instead of whatever's left over." Mello says.

"Yea,it would be nice to eat somthing that isn't the usual cornflakes. Not to mention,they're usually stale." I say.

Mello chuckles.

"There are usually pancakes,and sometimes doughnuts." Mello says.

"Really?" I say happily.

"Yep. Just don't the chocolate doughnut with chocolate frosting." Mello says.

"Why not?" I ask.

" 'Cuz it's mine." Mello says.

_"...How did I not see that coming?" _I think to myself.

"So when does breakfast start?" I ask.

"7:00 A.M,but things go fast. The kids here are like rabid animals."

I chuckle.

Mello walks over to the door.

"Well? Are you coming or not?" Mello asks.

* * *

><p>"That stupid albino!" Mello yells as he sees Near take the last chocolate doughnut from the doughnut box.<p>

"I have a feeling this isn't going to end well..." I mumble to myself.

"Damn right it isn't!" Mello says loudly.

"Well,just don't get me involved in any of this." I mumble as I walk past Mello and to the box of doughnuts. I grab a jelly filled doughnut.

"What? Why don't you want to help? It'll be fun!" Mello says,trying to get me to help him with whatever the hell he plans on doing.

"How will me doing whatever the hell you plan on having me do be any fun?" I ask as I walk back over to Mello,taking a bite of my doughnut while asking my question.

"It- um... Well ... er-..." Mello mumbles,trying to think of a reason why I would help him.

"Look,you don't have to do anything. All I need is an alibi." Mello says.

"So what? When Roger blames you for doing whatever the hell you did,all I have to do is say that you were somewhere with me?." I question,this time waiting until I'm done talking before I take a bite of my doughnut.

"Um... Yea,basically." Mello says.

"What's in it for me?" I ask.

There's no way in hell I'm going to help Mello when there's the possibility that he could be caught AFTER I say that he was with me,which would probably result in me losing one of my video games or gaming systems for lying ... Unless there's something in it for me.

"I'll - ... Um... Oh! I have some money stored back,We could sneek out and buy you a new video game or something." Mello says once he figures out what he could do that would actually get me to help him.

"Hm... deal." I say.

"Great. If anyone asks,i've been with you all morning." Mello says.

"Okay. By the way,just what do you plan on doing to Near?" I ask.

"You'll see." Mello says as he smirks.

"Whatever." I say as I walk back to the bedroom,taking another bite of my doughnut on my way.

* * *

><p><strong>Erihan - I know! I HATE stories wher that instentally fall in love after knowing each other for a few days. I don't plan on this story being anything like that.<strong>

**Special thanks to the following people for reviewing/favoriting/alerting :**

**Brightnight0003**

**ShinigamiLuvApples**

**Erihan**

**KissTheSunGoodnight**


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